The Second Time Around

“If he ever left me, I wouldn’t even be sad, no
Cause there’s a blessing in every lesson
And I’m glad that I knew him at all”

-India Arie-The Truth

Once you have become hurt in a relationship, it is extremely hard to trust the opposite sex again. What we don’t see at the time is it is a blessing in disguise as India Arie explains in her hit song entitled “The Truth.” It teaches us the true value of our worth because we often lose sight once we enter in relationships with someone God has not ordained for our lives. (Marriages included.)

Though easier said than done, one persons definition of love shouldn’t be the blueprint for allowing your heart to love again. All of the hurt and pain that one individual may have expressed towards you was:

1. Proof of their inability to understand God’s love
2. Proof of their inability to understand God’s Word
3. Proof of their inability to love themselves

To understand how we are hurt we must first understand three of the biggest culprits of hurt:

Lying-lying shouldn’t even be considered a way of escape. All lying does is let the person know that you do not value them enough to tell them the truth.

Cheating-cheating let’s a person know not only don’t I not think you are good enough for me, but I’ve realized that I’m not good enough for myself.

Abuse-whether physical, verbal, emotional, or spiritual is WRONG. It is often used as a control mechanism.

Let me say this: No one has permission or authority to make you feel lesser than who God has created. You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Now, after understanding how hurt is administered let’s talk about moving beyond it so that we can love (and be loved) effectively and efficiently the way God designed it The Second Time Around. God’s definition of love is throughout His love letter to the world, The Bible, but my favorite definition is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.- NLT Translation

Reread the preceding verse again. Do you completely understand what love is? Once you allow God to minister, heal, and help you grasp this biblical truth, you will be able to love and allow yourself to be loved the way you deserve.